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Tuesday, 16 June 2009
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Pillbox
Stuck in a box with three straight men,
the conversation keeps changing and now its about the night life in Tel Aviv.
"The gays have great parties and you can score any girl there cause she thinks you're gay till you get close enough for her to get that you're straight..."
"Yeah... but I don't want any dude hitting on me..."
"One time a VJ friend of mine invited me to a party, it was great till some fairy went on stage and sang Rita songs...and there were drag queens there too, I told my friend thanks... but no thanks... I'm going home...."
And I am stuck there with them... laughing at the right places, smiling in the correct social gesture... acting "informatively" a.k.a straightly... as I have mastered in three years of practice waiting for a new subject to come around...
Ah... there... finally... the Israeli Palestinian conflict...
*Written on the 13th of June during my army (Israeli army...) reserve duty, after a long guard duty in a pillbox.
Tuesday, 14 April 2009
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I hate it when I'm too horny for my own good...
I don't have sex for ages and then I go hook up with some internet nobody... usually someone who just wants sex (as I do since I'm extremely horny) and feel bad about the day after...
When I'm with him in bed it feels so good and then when we lie in bed hugging, physically satisfied and tiered, I feel like I want someone to lie in bed with every night, and wake by every morning... but then I have to go home to my lonely bed...
I need a boyfriend... anyone looking?
Thursday, 05 March 2009
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Happy Birthday To Me!
29 years of life....
WOW...
That's pretty nice...
Yep... getting older.
I'm in a good mood, the birthday blues came early this year and left early as well.
GOOD
I'm going out,
SEE'YA
Wednesday, 04 March 2009
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can't sleep.
I have a test tomorrow, and a meeting with mu prof. to speak about my theses...
Also, I have a friend who's really really depressed, she's on medication, and her doctor is changing the medication because she's in bad shape, she left me a message on th phone crying a few days ago, and keeps texting me messages that she feels alone and wants to die.... it is creepy. I called her back of course each time she contacted me but she always says the same stuff, she's all alone in the world and her life is stuck... and nothing I say helps... so i her I think she should call a mental help hotline... but it seems nothing is helping her... she said her doctor and psychologist recomended that she goes to a mental health hospital... I hope she does that... in the mean time she is exhasting me... it's hard talking tos someone like that, it's like she has a never ending hole in her heart, nothing any one says or does can ever fill it out. I know her from collage, and she's always been like this but thsi is the worst I've seen her... I am sooooo teired of this... she lives in a drama world... I always try to end my "relationship" with her... but then some new crises comes into her life and i feel guilty leaving her alone... This totaly sucks.... I'm gay.... but I have to listen to her tell me about eh asswholes that tell her they care about her just to get her into bed and then dump her... it's like getting the worst of all worlds... no sex and all the female bull shit.... I decided though that I will gradually stop talking to her... because she really does exahst me... today she also started telling me about how she's depressed and just had to tell her that I have a test tommrow and I need to study for it...
Just wanted to get this off my chest...
JON
P.S:
On thursday is my 29th Birthday... getting old....
Monday, 23 February 2009
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I feel soooooooo frustrated, everything is stuck in my life.
- I don't have a boyfriend and am begging to wonder if I'll ever have one. No really, what the fuck is wrong with me, am I that unattractive????
- My stupid professors aren't showing me any signs of progress- I can't get started with the research without handing in the proposal and I can't hand in the proposal if they keep changing things. I need to start the research if I ever want to finish this stupid MA.
- I have a crappy crappy job that I can't really advance with- it's a student job and I'm getting sick of it but than again, I am a student and a better job would mean less time to study.
- I'm turning 29 next week- no need to explain whats crappy about that.
- I don't have a boyfriend and am begging to wonder if I'll ever have one. No really, what the fuck is wrong with me, am I that unattractive????
NeuralBoy
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- Name: NeuralBoy
- Gender: Male
- Member Since: 12/27/2007
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I write about stuff that's happening in my life, about my thoughts and about whatever I feel like writing about...
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I can't concentrate at home... going to the library....
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Purim Sameach!!!!
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Mom's Home.
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